


A Million Different Ways

by tiny_maus_boots



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, bechloe - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-15
Updated: 2019-01-15
Packaged: 2019-10-10 19:33:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17432198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiny_maus_boots/pseuds/tiny_maus_boots
Summary: Beca can't take the pain anymore but Chloe can't just let her walk away.





	A Million Different Ways

“So this is it then? Just like that…no…talking, no nothing. You’re just leaving?” Chloe watched Beca zip up her suitcase with a shrug that was far too casual for the situation. They’d been best friends forever and yes they fought sometimes, all friends did, but it had never been like this. “I don’t understand Beca, we just got back! You haven’t even fully unpacked yet…”

“Just stop Chlo. Don’t make this a thing.” Don’t make this a thing? It was already a thing. A horrible horrible thing. One she didn’t understand and couldn’t seem to get Beca to explain.

“But I don’t understand Beca! Why are you leaving? I thought…” Chloe raised her hands and let them drop to her sides trying to express something that had been just under the surface for so long. There was something between them. Something more than friendship. Something more than being teammates and co-captains. But how do you explain something that was never discussed or even acknowledged?

Beca stopped and for a moment it looked like she wanted to say something but she didn’t. She didn’t even look at the redhead waiting anxiously for anything. Anything at all. “Isn’t it just about time?”

“For what?? Jesus Beca just talk to me! Please!” She didn’t want to cry, was trying her best not to. That was the quickest way to send Beca running and she knew it. “Did I do something?”

Beca glanced up then and Chloe froze at the look on the other woman’s face. She’d never seen Beca actually hate someone before. Really dislike them sure but never actually hate someone. Until now. The sob erupted before she could stop it and Beca looked away to grab her keys. “I’ll get the rest of my stuff later.”

They both knew that was a lie. Beca would just ask Amy to gather it all up for her and send it to where ever she was going. Or leave it behind because all she really cared about was her gear and some of her favorite clothes. All of which were in her suitcase. Along with the picture of Fat Amy Winehouse that usually sat right by the bed. Chloe knew that Beca was leaving for good and she didn’t understand it.

“Beca wait…just tell me what I did. I’m sorry! I’ll never do it again whatever it is. Just…don’t go. Please…”

She was almost to the door. Almost to her freedom. But that sound. That fucking sound of Chloe begging her to stay made it so damn hard to walk out the door. “Don’t do that Chloe. Don’t make me be the asshole.”

Chloe moved in front of Beca, standing between her and the door trying to get the brunette to just look at her but Beca turned her head to stare out the window instead. “So…I’m the asshole? I don’t even know what I did! Can’t you just…tell me? Beca I’m begging you…please just talk to me. Say anything.”

“Fine! I fucking hate you! Are you happy now?” It was a kick to the gut she hadn’t expected. Beca actually truly hated her. Chloe’s face fell and the tears couldn’t be held back any longer.

“But why? What did I do??” All she wanted was to run to Beca and hold her tight and promise never to do whatever it was that she had to done to make her friend hate her. Honest to God hate her. She’d do anything to take it back.

“Jesus Chloe. Don’t play stupid. You know why. You know why I can’t stay you just don’t want to admit it. I’m tired of it and I’m not going to do it anymore.” Beca just couldn’t. She couldn’t hold Chloe’s hand through another relationship with someone that wasn’t her. She couldn’t watch Chloe fall in love with someone else. She couldn’t let herself be torn apart over and over when Chloe found the next in an unending stream of crushes. It wasn’t fucking fair and she just couldn’t.

“Beca I swear I don’t! I swear to God just tell me… please…”

“STOP! Just fucking stop. I can’t Chloe. I can’t do this anymore. Just let me go. That should be easy for you by now.”

And then she knew. She knew why Beca was so angry with her. She finally fucking understood. It was as if her heart had been ripped from her chest while it was still beating and squeezed until it was nothing but a bit pulp. It felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room and all she could hear was a dull ringing in her ears. They stared at each other for so long that Chloe was afraid to blink. Afraid that if she moved even one muscle Beca would blow past her and never look back.

“You saw me kiss him…” Beca didn’t say anything, her gaze dropped and Chloe was almost positive it was because she didn’t want to cry. There was a ragged inhale of breath for a response and what was left of her heart gave a pained thump. There was no need to say his name they both knew who she was talking about. In fact Chloe didn’t even  ** _want_** to say his name.

“You chose someone else. Again. It’s never gonna…you know what? It doesn’t fucking matter. Just let me go.”

It was incredibly unfair but Chloe couldn’t work out who it was more unfair to. Beca or herself. She didn’t know what to do. If she moved and let Beca go she’d never see her again. If she stayed in her way Beca would hate her forever. Either way she lost. “Beca…”

“Don’t. Don’t fucking do the thing Chlo. I swear to God…”

“Fuck you Beca.” Beca hadn’t expected it. Chloe had NEVER said that before to her. They’d fought yeah and had said mean things a time or two but Chloe had never said fuck you. Not like she meant it. Then again Beca had never told Chloe she hated her before either. “You want to hate me for that? Because I didn’t choose you? YOU NEVER ASKED ME TO!”

Beca flinched and couldn’t meet Chloe’s gaze. It wasn’t because Chloe was right. Not entirely anyway. It was because as much as she hated the woman in front of her in that moment…it didn’t compare to how deeply she really loved her. And seeing that anger reflected back at her was hard to bear. Too hard for Beca to see. Because it meant they were done. So done. “You know Chloe. You’ve always fucking known!”

Chloe shook her head at that. “You never told me! How could I?” But a million different memories ran though her mind reminding her of things she had experienced but never truly seen. Beca holding her hand through the entire viewing of The Notebook as she bawled like a baby. Beca making fun of her worst dates. Beca listening to every amazing date detail. Beca helping her stay up late studying for finals. Beca helping her fill out her application for vet school. Beca waiting hand in hand with her anxiously awaiting the results of a pregnancy test. Beca waking her so she wouldn’t be late. Beca showing up at auditions. Beca standing up to some overly grabby jerks in a club. Beca making her birthday breakfast even if it was just a bowl of Cap’n Crunch. Beca holding her as she cried to sleep over a broken heart. Beca leaving mixes for her to study with, to dance with, to sing with, to laugh with. Beca loving her. In a million different ways. Her breath came out in a soft sob and she looked down at her own feet because if she tried to focus on the brunette she’d fall apart. “Oh my God…Beca…”

She was too tired to yell. Too tried to fight. Her voice was raw from strangling back her tears but they fell anyway. “You knew Chlo. You knew and you never chose me.” Chloe wasn’t looking at her and that was fine by Beca. She couldn’t really stand the weight of those eyes anyway. She felt more than saw Chloe move away from the door and Beca let out a broken sigh. It wasn’t relief exactly because she knew she’d never get over this. Not really. It was more resignation that this was what they had become. Beca gave a nod, her eyes just as down cast as Chloe’s and started for the door only to be stopped Chloe’s very solid, warm hand on her wrist. “Chlo…”

“I chose you from the second I saw you Beca. It was always you, but you just didn’t see it. Or me. You still don’t.” They had moved past yelling at each other. But the quiet sadness was almost more than she could take. Beca closed her eyes thinking back, searching her memories for all the things she’d never seen clearly. Chloe begging her to audition, demanding it even. Chloe curling around her after her break up with Jesse. Chloe packing her lunches so she wouldn’t forget. Chloe encouraging her music even when she thought she had nothing left to create. Chloe staying home from a date when she was sick. Chloe letting her cry over her grandmother’s passing. Chloe smiling and laughing even when her jokes were bad. Chloe failing three different times to be with her just one more year. Chloe leaving everyone behind to follow her to New York. It was there. All there in a million different ways. She just hadn’t seen them.

Beca heart shattered and she covered her mouth with a hand to keep herself from sobbing. If she started crying now she’d never fucking stop. Finally she dragged her eyes up to Chloe’s face and really looked at her. Beca could finally see it. Chloe loved her. Maybe had always loved her. Had been waiting for her for so damn long. But she’d been too afraid to see it or hear it. Beca had been too scared to tell her. “I can’t stay if I can’t be with you…I love you too much…and…”

“I choose you Beca Mitchell. Ask me a million times and it will still always be you.” Beca’s laptop bag slid from her shoulder and oh God she wanted to kiss Chloe. So badly but she didn’t know if she could. After everything she’d said, after everything Chloe had said…could they even…

Chloe leaned into her, wrapping her arms around Beca’s neck and kissed her. The soft hesitant brush of lips was nothing like the kisses she’d seen Chloe give so many different times before to so many different people. It was gentle and warm and oh so fucking hopeful that it made Beca shudder in response. Her arms came up to slide around Chloe’s waist, tugging her closer as if she just held on that much more no one could get between them again. The kiss broke and Beca rested her forehead against Chloe’s almost afraid to speak. “What about…him?”

“I don’t care Beca. I only care about you.” It was over with Chicago. It had been over the second she got on the plane to head home. He might not know it yet but she had. Chloe cupped Beca’s face in both her hands forcing her to meet her gaze. “I love you.”

Beca nodded a slight smile tugging at the corners of her lips. They could do this. Right? They could be together. Like for real. Finally. She just needed to say it. Chloe needed to hear it and Beca desperately needed to say it. “I love you Chloe. I’ve always loved you.”

Chloe nodded slowly and kissed her again. And she fell in love all over again knowing she’d fall a million times more. But Chloe would always choose her.


End file.
